If Kenny from Southpark was a Rapper, he’d be Tyga
Wrestling is a fake sport. Well the proper term in “Pre-Determined” as no matter how theatrical or over the top it can be, these are all still athletes putting themselves through grueling work. In Wrestling, there are wrestles that are called “jobbers” or “designated losers”. Their sole purpose is to wrestle someone and get beat the fuck up spectacularly to showcase how talented their opponent is. Most jobbers are no name guys you never see again, but some become famous for jobbing. Could you imagine becoming famous for losing? Becoming a legend for how well you can get beat up? It’s almost impressive. This brings me to Tyga, who might be hip-hop’s most successful Jobber. Tyga has been the punchline to so many jokes that he’s spawned the careers of many internet personalities. People love mocking him because, well he’s easy to mock. His name is Tyga, he’s small, he has a baby by Blac Chyna, his music is consistently mediocre and he dated Kylie Jenner BEFORE SHE WAS 18. Yeah that last little Snapple fact put Tyga’s career on ice for a bit as people were pretty uncomfortable listening to him rap about sex while he’s dating someone he legally can’t have sex with. However, Tyga somehow found a way to persevere for a 10+ year rap career. Tyga’s greatest ability is being able to make a hit song no matter how little people respect him. He has an impeccable ear for beats and a flow that’s adequate enough for the songs to get spins. I have no idea how he can be so terrible and so good at the same time, but I really want to find out. So naturally when I saw he had an album coming out, I decided to listen to it. So, with that said, let’s get into Legendary.
Tyga has no shame
Aight so, this album is not good, but no one expected it to be. For real this is music you listen to while you buy clearance rack shirts at Express. This is what you listen to when you’re drinking in the car to pre-game slash warm yourself up because you’re about to stand in line club and don’t want to pay coat check. Every song is just “I’m awesome, I’m awesome, I’m awesome” when we know for a fact this isn’t true. It’s repetitive and at some points just mind boggling. There is legitimately a song on this album called “Light Skinned Lil Wayne” where Tyga proclaims himself…the Light Skinned Lil Wayne. Which is crazy because the feature on the next song is in fact...LIL WAYNE. For context this would be like if I said I was the “Dark Skinned Malcolm Gladwell” and then introduced you to my friend, Malcolm Gladwell. We can get into the colorism issues of deeming yourself the “light skin ____” but honestly, it’s not worth the effort, it’s just stupid. Now a lot of people gave Tyga a pass for dating Kylie because she was developing into a beautiful plastic woman, plus in some cultures 17 isn’t that old. I still think it’s creepy but whatever, some people gave him a pass. However, on Legendary he does an amazing job of making “pick her up in front of her high school” music. This is some shit that you play when you want to take your girlfriend to a cool bar that doesn’t card. If you need fake ID music, listen to Legendary. Listening to every song made me feel like a disappointed father who’s doing his best to like his daughter’s new boyfriend because I know that the more, I hate him to closer I’ll push her to him.
This is music to wear axe body spray too
Now with that out of the way, we go to discuss the shocking part of this album. The song quality is good. I don’t know how Tyga does it but somehow, he makes catchy music. However, it’s catchy like a virus, when you hear it, you’re stuck with it until you pass it to someone else. I’m pretty sure people have made awkward phone calls like “hey, I hope you’re doing well but I just needed you to know, I listen to Tyga now and you might need to get tested.” There were many times I caught myself bobbing my head a bit to the nonsensical bars Tyga was spitting. I felt guilty but he has some bops. There are songs here that I’ll hear when I’m drunk and not mind at all. I’ll be embarrassed I know them but it won’t matter because I’ll be too wasted to care. This is a good album to get a neck tattoo too. Seriously, if you ever wanted a knife or some praying hands on the side of your neck to let everyone know you’re about that life while you wash dishes at Applebee’s, Tyga is the man who’ll provide you the soundtrack. If “Legendary” was a car it would be a Honda Civic with mismatched doors a spoiler and a BMW logo instead of the Honda H.
Tyga always gets up even though he should stay down.
It is IMPRESSIVE that Tyga has gotten to this point in his career. It really is the stuff of legend - no rapper has been this mediocre for this long and not ended up on a Love and Hip Hop franchise. Tyga dated a 17-year-old, was best friends with CHRIS BROWN and one time rapped that he was “colder than a penguin lip”. He should not be relevant in Hip Hop. But somehow, Tyga finds a way to survive. No lie if there was a Chernobyl-like nuclear meltdown tomorrow, Tyga would survive. I don’t know how he’d do it but he’d find a way to beat disaster and get played by a British actor in the eventual mini-series about the incident. He’s got a strange likability; I think it’s because he knows that he’s not good. I would 100 percent hang out with Tyga - he knows he’s a punchline, he knows he’s not respected, but he keeps thriving. So many Artists destroy themselves trying to stand out or give the people what they want - Tyga knows what works and sticks to it. He’s meant to do the job, nothing more, nothing less. That my friends, is Legendary. I give Legendary 3 deep sighs out of 8.