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beerbongs & bentleys
Post Malone
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Narratives(9)

Jun 28, 2019

You Can’t Spell Post Malone Without “Alone”

Post Malone looks like the Hollywood definition of White Trash. He’s filthy but in a strangely clean way. He’s like a redneck in a glossy Harmony Korrine movie. He’s fashionable but I know that he has a favorite opossum and one raccoon he has a tense relationship with. I’m not sure if he smells or not, but if he does, he smells clean and dirty at the same time, like a Salvation Army before it opens. I know I shouldn’t trust Post Malone but his music is consistently dope. I listen to Post Malone with the worry that he’ll say the N-Word at some point. I know it’s coming, or it’s happened before, there’s literally no way possible that he hasn’t. You can’t be THAT person without saying the n-word, that’s like wearing all vineyard vines and not saying “but her emails”. Post Malone looks like the guy who brings guitars to parties and the guy who freestyles at parties poorly raised a baby together. He’s dirty and clean at the same time, like Pig Pen from Charlie Brown. We all know a white dude or two that looks just like Post Malone and we wouldn’t leave them in our houses alone. However beneath that lovably crusty exterior, there lies a whole lot of problematic speaking. He’s been called a culture vulture on several different occasions and his thoughts on Modern HipHop do not help. Instead of heaping praise to the genre that opened it’s doors to him, he acted like he was above it and really didn’t need the distinction. This is problematic as many white artists before Post Malone have made the same distinctions in order to gain more of their white fanbases trust while further alienating his (disappointed) black fanbase. Music fans with more integrity than me refuse to listen to Post Malone because of his dumb ass thoughts, however I don’t have much musical integrity as I always want to fit in, so I figured I’d give Post a shot. I felt guilty at first because of all things considered but then I let it go because he looks like a Dog that learned how to speak Human. So, with that said I pressed play on “Beerbongs and Bentleys”.

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